"the silver tint of the clouds of doubt"

Saturday, December 13, 2008


I decided to make a decision thinking I was being wise and mature. After discovering the affects of my choice, I am sincerely regretful b/c my thoughts are running wild and I am now full of anxiety. Why can't I just make a choice and stick to it without feeling doubtful. Now, all I can think about are the potential consequences of this decision and it's driving me crazy.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

What's the deal?

Why is it that people are so rude when it comes to expressing their musical taste? It seems to be one of the only subjects where someone has the audacity to tell you your taste sucks or that you're somehow less cool b/c you like "so-and-so band". What's odd is that we would never dare criticize or belittle other preferences (wine, politics, values, choice in schools etc... the list goes on) so openly without restraint. This lack of restraint goes even further in that people actually judge one's social status and their level of sophistication based on music. That's a bit ridiculous, don't you think?

I also don't understand how a person can like said musician but then hate them once they realize their music is becoming popular. Or those people who only like indie/alternative artists that "no one knows" and then stand aghast and sanctimonious when a general inquiry is made.

In the end, shouldn't we just accept everyone for who they are? Who cares if a person likes heavy metal and you don't; it certainly doesn't mean they are lacking in musical taste. It's just different.

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Goal setting

A year from today I would like to run a marathon. I started jogging in the summer and in just a few weeks I was almost up to 5k but for some reason at midsummmer I decided to stop. Now I have to work my way back up again in terms of endurance etc...

I think I can achieve this goal in a year. I'm healthy, young and fairly fit.

Anyone out there in blogland wanna join me?

Saturday, November 15, 2008

Night at the Movies

Tonight my dad and I went to see Quantum of Solace, the new Bond film. I totally liked it despite some scenes that just seemed utterly ridiculous and totally fake (as in I could see the digital effects). In general though, it was highly entertaining and I must say, from a single girl standpoint, Daniel Craig was very appealing. Okay, who am I kidding? The man is ripped!

Despite the fact that it was a Friday night, the evening was long overdue. Usually my father and I watch at least a couple of films together a year, but it seems like ages since we last saw a movie together. I didn't really realize this until recently, but watching movies has been an informal tradition in our relationship over many years.

The first film I recall watching with dad was The Thing (1982). For some reason during the mid eighties dad had this obsession with sci-fi movies and programs (including a mad love for Dr. Who). I must of been six or seven at the time and dad brought the video home for my sister and I to watch. I don't know why he thought it was acceptable for our age category. If I remember correctly not only did we watch The Thing that night but also Aliens(1986). I'm surprised I didn't have nightmares afterwards. Most children would be petrified of an alien creature that poses as a dog and then violently assimilates an entire sled team of innocent huskies; or a spider-like alien that sits on someones face as a means of insemination and then reproduces by bursting forth from a man's chest cavity.

For some reason, I was never really frightened of horror or sci-fi films; especially the Nightmare on Elm street and Poltergeist type horrors we would watch at juvenile Sleepovers. The only film I ever remember being really frightened about was a compilation of horror stories in an anthology called Tales From The Crypt. The video usually entailed 5-6 short stories introduced by this half dead crypt keeper. The video that we rented had a short story about a girl who gets possessed by a demon and grows goat legs, foams at the mouth and flails violently around her room. For the longest time I would awake in the morning scared shit-less that I would have goat legs and foam residue on my face from the previous night's activities. My movie watching preference changed drastically in the following days to films primarily centered on comedic and romance genres.

The very first movie I ever went to see in a theatre with dad was True Lies. It's not really an action film per se but rather a chick action flick, if that is even possible. That same year my father took me to see Speed. I'm surprised he decided to ever take me to a film again. I guess he must of bought me this huge soda drink b/c right at the end of the movie (the part where Keanu is on top of the subway train with Dennis Hopper) I had this urgent need to pee. At the time I was pretty young, maybe 12, and so my dad had to get up and accompany me to the ladies room (waiting outside of course). I remember he was SO pissed when we finally got back into the theatre only to see the credits roll and a sparse assortment of elderly couples sitting in their seats chatting. For the longest time(until about 1997) I really had no idea how the film had concluded and never understood the general public fascination with a "potential romance" between Keanu Reeves and Sandra Bullock.

For the most part, my father's taste in film has really stuck with me. I generally like films that have action/drama with a non-fiction element, sci-fi/Utopian story lines or British comedies (John Cleese being one of my favourites). To be honest, spending time with him in this way really makes me feel like we connect, despite the fact that we actually don't communicate for a full 2 hours. Sometimes just being with someone is enough. I know he enjoys and appreciates it, even if he never verbally tells me so. It matters to him and to me and reminds me that really I'll never grow up. I'll always be his child. Even when I have my own kids he'll probably treat me to dinner and a movie. After all, he can't not pay, it's tradition.

Thursday, October 23, 2008


In reference to my Facebook status, I've held back for so long I forgot how good it feels to say exactly what I think. I've gradually become more and more concerned with how I express myself, making sure I'm politically correct and being unoffensive. I'm tired of that crap. You know what, this is what I think:

1) I'm a bitch. Yes, I am on occasion rude to people in convenient stores, cafeterias, gas stations, drive thrus, retail stores (especially when they pester you to try things on or ask you your full address and personal info when returning a pair of socks) and anyone who just seems to irritate me. And puh-leeze people, I am NOT the only one who does this so stop being so shocked and judgemental.

2) I have a great disdain for arrogant and condescending people who constantly seek public self validation.

3) Stop asking me questions! Is it absolutely necessary for you to know all my whereabouts and thoughts? (My mother is driving me fucking nuts!)

4)For God sakes stop asking for my phone number and email. Just b/c I am pleasant and nice does not mean I want to fuck you, suck your dick, be your girlfriend or marry you.

5) Although good intentions are a lovely after-thought they are NOT actions. Just because you think something does not make it so. Stop telling me that you meant to email me or thought of me the other day but didn't know to call. I'd rather you say nothing at all.

6) Friendships can be quite revealing. It's amazing to discover that your friend is bossy, demanding, popularity obsessed and impatient.

7) Yes, I get drunk on occasion. No, Satan is not going to get me! No, I am not a raging alcoholic! And yes, I probably did flirt with you, tell you something inappropriate and speak with a raised voice, outside, in a family neighbourhood at 2am. (gasp!)

Long sigh...

That is all.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

My first blog back in awhile and it's a meme

So, here are seven random and maybe weird facts about yours truly.

1) I have a mad fascination with and phobia of bad weather. Whenever it's stormy I become very alert and pace around the house, no matter what time of day or night. Sometimes I get so freaked out I prepare for an emergency tornado warning by leaving the basement door open, getting my flashlight ready and keeping my teddy bear on me. Why I would carry a stuffed bear over a phone or some other helpful object is beyond me. Oddly enough, despite my fear, I am genuinely interested in tornadoes and would even consider accompanying storm chasers to see this phenomena up close.

2) After a long day at work I like to buy gossip magazines or tabloids. I am so into it, I actually have Perez Hilton marked down as a favourite on my internet browser and have almost been the first person to comment on one of his posts. To be honest, I'm more interested in Brangelina and the birth of their twins than the upcoming US election.

3) When I was young (around 4 or 5) I actually thought people would roll their shoulders to open a car window. I realize now that from the backseat of a car, that's what it looked like. I also thought the cars on the highway didn't move but that the lanes did.

4) For some reason I find the intro to the Edison Twins really catchy and have even been prone to singing it while in the shower and doing exercises. It also reminds me of my friend Travis who used to incessantly sing the background vocals while in homeroom in grade 9.

5) I worry when people automatically assume you know what you're doing just because you act confidently. The other day a client asked me about interest rates and mortgages. I gave him a suggestion all the while sounding completely sure of myself and my expertise. The next day he phoned to thank me and had actually done what I had suggested. I;d like to remind you all that I have no idea what the hell I am doing when it comes to mortgages etc... All I know is tax law and how to fill out tax forms.

6) I really dislike people who have bad sidewalk etiquette. Sidewalks are like roads: the right side goes in one direction and the left the opposite way. If people actually walked on the sidewalk like they drove a car people could move along WAY faster during rush hour. I mean come on, cars don't drive side by side at the same speed going in one direction preventing other vehicles from passing!

7) On occasion when I feel really sick, I like my mom to come over and take care of me. Just her presence makes me feel better.

I now tag:


Here are the rules:

1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

All done :)

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Loathsome Barrie

It's -30 in Barrie today. Why do I voluntarily live here? What was I thinking? It took me at least 15 mins to let my car warm up today and still I sat shivering. I left all my friends and normal weather back in Toronto. Why, Jesus? Why?


About Me

I'm a recent university graduate who is attempting to figure out where life will take her. Not sure yet, but hopefully it will be interesting and exciting.