A glorious night

I walked home tonight in my bare feet in the pouring rain. The puddles were lovely and cool. My whole walk was so enjoyable and refreshing. I love rain. It's so clean.

School is finally over. I did my last test today and I think I could have done better. Actually, it was probably really bad but I don't care, I'm glad it's done. It was out of 100 with 30 multiple choice questions each worth 3 marks (retarded if you ask me) and then an essay question on the UN Social Summit in Copenhagen. Anywho, I bullshitted a lot and made a few guesses. But, there was a lot on the test that I knew, which of course made me happy b/c I really didn't study very much last night. So, I rock for knowing a lot of UN information and odd Cdn. historical facts. Actually, I think the prof wrote a question wrong. He said that the UN was created by Roosevelt and Churchill, but it was really created by Woodrow Wilson after WWI with the creation of the League of Nations. Anyways, that's not the point. The point is that school is done and I can now have a real life.

To make my life even better than it is at this moment, I got offered a job today from a friend who is working for Stephane Dion (former enviro. minister) who is running in the Liberal leadership race. Apparently I would be typing some random party information into a database (boring) but I would get a lovely reference letter from the potential "Official Leader of the Opposition." Hmm... I don't know? I'm thinking it be a lot of fun plus I would get about $100/day. Right now I have the option of going to a cottage, working or hanging out in Toronto for Canada Day weekend. I can't decide. Someone needs to point me in the right direction.

Update on peacekeeping job

Yeah, so I didn't get shortlisted for the peacekeeping job in Ottawa. Actually, I never even got an email confirmation telling me they received my resume. Ah well. Another girl in my class applied too and has an interview. That's what I heard, but it was a tid bit of gossip, so who knows if it's true. True or not, I am glad one of us got an interview. At least it tells me that people from my course can have a chance at a real job. Ok, to avoid lying through my teeth, I will say that I am disappointed and feel rather crummy that this girl got an interview instead of me. But I never really felt I had a strong chance of getting the job. I just wanted to apply for something and follow through. For some reason, I am not dismayed but am at peace. Weird. God has a plan for my life, plans for me to prosper, to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). I trust that. Perhaps that job wouldn't have suited me. For whatever reason, it's not mine and Jesus is in control. Thank goodness.

School is almost done. THANK GOD!! I have one minor assignment to do and then a test next Tuesday. I am so thankful things are coming to a close as I want to get on with my life. I am sick of school and just getting a job would make me happy. Well, not just any job, but a job in development. I have some leads, which I discovered last Saturday at a conference on justice. Exciting! In September I might potentially be in Cambodia or maybe I'll be in California doing some work for an amazing mission organization. Who knows? I certainly don't. We'll see where God places me.

"It's not right, but it's okay": an ode to Rachet

Today I hung out with an old friend, Rachel. She is home for a week from the Dominican Republic and I am so glad that she spared a little time to talk with me. There is so much about Rachel that I love and admire. She stayed back in Barrie for three years to wait for God's direction while all of her friends went away to university and college. She worked at Walmart for 7 years to save enough money to go to the DR and since living there for over a year she has perservered in her goals. She has remained firm in her commitment to those in her little village and her employees at the art co-op despite being attacked twice and living with the abject poor. Our chat today was such a good reminder of who I want to be. It's nice to be around someone who really knows you and all your history. Despite my faults and silly choices, I am still striving for the things I once did and I'm so thankful that Rachel sees it.

Ah Rachet, how I will miss you when you go back to the DR. We have so many memories together. Like the time we went to Jess Sharpe's cottage in Amanada Catheline's car and someone spilt pop on her stereo and we couldn't turn Abba off. Or the many times when we used to drive around in my truck laughing about Whitney Houston songs. Or perhaps our longstanding feud over Rudy Westernang (oh my). The memoires are endless and I cherish every one.

I have a feeling this is going to be a hard summer. So much is happening that I don't know where to begin. I wish I could express myself here with blatant honesty, but I cannot bring myself to do it. All I can say, is that I am at point where I must face such great pain in order to move on in my spiritual life. This entails doing things that I do not want to do. It entails having my skin stripped off of me so that the new being underneath will come forth and shine. I so want this, but am uncertain how to be broken. I look at this time with joy as I am making large steps forward, but am full of sorrow as I know the journey ahead will be difficult. I can hardly think of it without crying. I want to do this on my own, but I know that I cannot. Jesus will have to carry me. We will do this together, with the knowledge that the end result will be ultimate freedom and peace. I await my reward with anticipation.

Pissy, tired and overly critical

I have spent all night working on my cover letter for a peacekeeping job. I got home from church at 8:30 and have been working on this stupid document until now (1:30am). I am exhausted and so frustrated. I finally managed to get something out that I deemed acceptable and sent it to a friend to look over only to discover that everything I had written (well, not everything, I'm being rather dramatic) was not very good. I felt so upset I wanted to burst into tears. So, after discussing ( and mostly analyzing ) what my friend said, I decided to go back and really edit my cover letter. But now, I am so tired that I can hardly think and all I want to do is go to bed. I feel so disappointed b/c I so wanted to finish this. I must be over-thinking things because it shouldn't take 5 bloody hours to write a blasted four paragraph one page coverletter!!! Grrrr....

I just realized I really want this job. It's a "special project manager' position, which has AMAZING pay, kickass benefits, frequent international travel, and is an awesome opportunity to gain first hand management experience. It's in Ottawa too (props to Ian and Mags). Long sigh... I don't know. Maybe I should just throw in the towel and sleep on it. I'll get up early and finish it tomorrow at school. Besides, I don't really need to be in communications class. Besides, I have a good excuse for not going, our teacher is terrible! I don't understand how some people get hired. This woman says "um" like every other word. Isn't that the biggest no no in communication/presentation courses?

Goodnight
Pissy, tired and overly critical,
Johanna