I have a feeling this is going to be a hard summer. So much is happening that I don't know where to begin. I wish I could express myself here with blatant honesty, but I cannot bring myself to do it. All I can say, is that I am at point where I must face such great pain in order to move on in my spiritual life. This entails doing things that I do not want to do. It entails having my skin stripped off of me so that the new being underneath will come forth and shine. I so want this, but am uncertain how to be broken. I look at this time with joy as I am making large steps forward, but am full of sorrow as I know the journey ahead will be difficult. I can hardly think of it without crying. I want to do this on my own, but I know that I cannot. Jesus will have to carry me. We will do this together, with the knowledge that the end result will be ultimate freedom and peace. I await my reward with anticipation.