boys....tee hee

ok, yeah, this subject was bound to come up sometime. If you know me at all, you know that at some point I'll talk about boys in some form or another. Recently, I have worked very hard to not think about them because I did not to get distracted from God. So, the moment I promise to think only of Jesus, what happens, everyone starts talking about marriages, crushes and engagements. They all begin to ask me (ok, it was only one good friend) questions about how to stop thinking about their crushes, meanwhile they have no idea that I am struggling to do the same thing. Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah... So of course, I am now going to give in and talk about, yes.. you guessed it, boys. I like boys. They are so nice. I like one boy in particular. And y'all will never guess who. He is very nice. Let's call him..... Frankfurt. Oh that makes me giggle we have to change that. I would never like a boy named Frankfurt or even Franklin or hey, let's be honest, even Frank. OK, so his name is Peter, with a nickname of Petey. We likey. So... Petey is way fashionable and oh so cool. Petey doesn't care about what people think of him. Petey is super respectful and very honourable. There is no one who is more sweeter and kinder than Petey. In simple terms... Petey rules. oh yeah... and he loves God. I guess I should have mentioned that first because that is the most important. Oh... did I also mention that Petey is super duper handsome? Oh, he's dreamy alright!

So... basically, this post is not about anything in particular but about a boy named Petey. (gush)

popularity

Sorry about the last entry, just so everyone knows and just in case people think I am infringing on copy right law or something, that song was written by Jonathan Steingard. I can't believe that I actually posted it, but it really represents how I've been feeling lately.

Well... since returning from India, I've decided to keep up with blogging. Why? I don't fully know yet. For some reason I have a funny feeling that I'll be travelling again soon, which will mean that I should definitely blog. But, for now, I am unsure what to write. I guess I could write about what I am thinking. Hmm.... at this very moment I'm thinking about a conversation I had with Mena the other day(i love that woman!!). We chatted about popularity, especially popularity within christian circles.

Popularity, what a deception!

I have come to realize that this one thing has been my goal throughout my childhood and adolescence and still manages to tempt me even as an adult. It's such an illusion! As we chatted I thought back to high school and the girls who were popular. Who were they really? I knew that a lot of these girls had sex in high school, which isn't bad, but I suspect they had a lot of sex, with different guys. Now, I am sure I'm being presumptuous but I really think popularity is an exchange. It's really just someone giving something in return for friendship. Are these frienships real and authentic? They might be, but for the most part, I have a feeling they are shallow. Why would someone want friends who only want them for sex or money or whatever else they're offering. It makes it seem like the person has no value. How sad. Imagine, the people who you thought were the most desireable, who you felt were so lucky, may have had no self worth.

As I sit here and reflect on my teenage years, I really don't long to be popular anymore. This is so satisfying yet so disappointing. What a waste of time! Just think of all the hours I spent comparing myself to others; all the potential friendships I avoided; the simple joy of just revelling in the knowledege of being myself - all wasted on the ideals of something, which doesn't naturally exist. I never want to aspire to those things again.

When you notice social dynamics, which everyone ultimately does, ask yourself, "why are people attracted to this person?" Is it because they're authentic and real? Are you attracted to them because they are in love with Jesus and they are pursuing righteousness? What is their appeal? Upon closer inspection, you may observe that this person, is quite unsafe, and in fact, they are the opposite of what you are aspiring to become. If anything, they need a holy revelation from God about their true identity.

a go(o)d song

Now I understand
in my brokeness
The great expanse you are
and the helpless child I am
Everything I have
strip from me
Bring me to my knees
where I long to be

Break me, enfold me, make me yours
Whatever is left of me absorb
Come fill the void
I know I need you
to take from me all that I hold back
And then take my life
It would be better than this
It would be better than this

Right now where I am
Let the change begin
The old begins to die
Replaced with you again
Let this image never fade
from my memory
Of a forever loving God
and this child at his feet

Break me, enfold me, make me yours
Whatever is left of me absorb
Come fill the void
I know I need you
to take from me all that I hold back
And then take my life
It would be better than this
It would be better than this

If the stars could only keep time
If your words could only be mine

Sometimes the messenger is a real idiot, but God bless him for delivering the message.