Yeah, Varanassi!!!

I was lying in bed remembering my time in Varanassi with Josh and Elissa and I had to post once again. On our last night there, we went to this weird festival thing at the main ghat. During the Hindu celebration, I had this urge to praise God, so I started to do that. I got so wrapped up in worship that I really stopped paying attention to my surroundings. When I finally came to, I noticed that some people in the crowd were glaring at me. I thought that was rather interesting until I saw a lot of people glaring. It was not a nice glare, it was actually REALLY mean. I kinda felt attacked spiritually so I turned around to leave and ran smack into a Kali shrine (just so you know, Kali is a mean, vengeful, blood thirsty Goddess. She has a bright red face, crazy black hair and the ickiest grin on her face). I sorta got freaked out and asked if we could leave. We ended up catching a bicycle rickshaw home. It was great. The breeze was so fresh (oddly enough) and cool. After our ride, we disembarked and I'll never forget what happened. As Elissa got off she lost her balance and fell into the biggest, wettest pile of cow poo. It had to have been at least up to her ankles. We laughed SO hard we cried.

My Wish List

Ok, I know it's WAY too early and probably very juvenile, but I have decided to write out my Christmas wish list. Now, these are ONLY suggestions, but I would love a person so much more if they gave me what's on my list. Please, I will love you FOREVER!!

Things I want...
1) An MP3 player, preferably an ipod. The cd player I have is ghetto and it's huge. I lug it with me everywhere and I can never put it in my purse. It's also terrible. It always skips and sometimes it won't even play. This is very inconvenient when you really want to ignore the freaky guy on the bus. Also, it sucks up batteries and that's wasting valuable money.

2) A spa day. Yes, I want my nails done, a full body message, a facial etc... all things luxurious. Oh, maybe even a spray on tan (yes Rachet, you've convinced me cancer boxes are evil). I also wouldn't mind a new hair cut, maybe some highlights and a makeover.

3) A vacation. I want to go away some place warm and tropical. I don't care, as long as it's near the equator and I can have fruity drinks with little umbrellas. Yeah, I know that's a bit much, but hey.... you never know who reads this blog.

4)Nick Carter... ha ha ha... just kidding. Thought I'd put that in for old times sake. Seriously now... no one likes a chubb.... and well, neither do I.

5)A new computer. Now this is uber pricey so I would definitely contribute. Actually I would rather an upgrade. I don't know if that's possible on this hunk of junk, but it's definitely worth looking into.

6) Boots. Yes, many, many pairs of boots. I need a pair of tall black ones and of course, if you got black you gotta have brown. All very important for fashionable young ladies. Ok, and maybe some sneakers, preferably a pair of black Adidas which I saw at Brown's and a pair of sweet Puma's I saw yesterday at the Dufferin Mall.

7) And finally, some new house furnishings for my new digs. Ann Marie and I aren't sure what we need just yet, so I might have to adjust this list once I move in. I think we need a table and an island for our kitchen. Ikea time!

So that's it thus far. I just realized that's quite a bit and when added up is expensive. Indeed, it is. It's not my fault God blessed me with expensive tastes and desires. I know what you're thinking, "this is not the reason for the season". YES, I know that!! You people ruin all the fun :(

We likey

My new jacket. We likey :)

now that's some hunky Jane Austen

Went to see Pride and Prejudice tonight. It was terrible. I knew it would be. Kiera Knightley was not convincing enough as Elizabeth Bennett. They made her appear like she actually liked Darcy when in reality she loathed him. And Matthew MacFadyen sounded way too robotic to be a brewding Mr. Darcy. Not only that, they made him mope about the entire film. I know this is shallow but, my goodness he's cute. That's one thing they got right.

Conclusion: Nothing will ever claim my love for Jane Austen like the BBC. God bless those Brits!

I can't dither

I have worked so hard to forgive. Sometimes, I can't believe how willing I am to forgive someone and actually forget about their wrong doing. When you forgive does it mean that you completely forget? No... it doesn't. You always remember what they did but you forgive, knowing that God will give you love for this person. You move on knowing that you have forgiven them because you never want to be bound by chains that can make you bitter, hateful and disobedient. You move on because you have faith God will change this person's heart and one day, maybe, they'll come to their senses and see their wrong doing. You move on because you can't hold a grudge, it just takes too much effort.

Tonight, like many other nights, I made an effort to befriend someone that hurt me terribly. It didn't work. I have forgiven this person, let's call them JP, but the pain they caused me still lingers. Tonight I spoke with JP and it just blew up in my face. It took one word, just a name to bring back all my hurt. It made me break. I want our friendship to be mended but I don't think it can be. I don't think I'll ever see this person the same way I used to.

The unfortunate thing is, this isn't just happening with one person. It's happening with a lot of people. I'm realizing more and more there are only a select few that I can call my friend. The rest, I just can't trust. I've been dealing with this issue for months now. How do you love someone, sincerely, but then be cautious around them? How can you be real with someone who has hurt you over and over again without not talking to them or holding a grudge? I can't do both. I can't see one person and pretend that I care deeply for them when in fact I emotionally and spiritually fear them. I can't straddle the two.

I'm SO tired

I just pumped out three essays and one computer assignment in two days. I am SO tired. I really hope that they all get good marks, considering they were not really well done. I'm finding that as long as I give assignments in on time, I will be okay. It's handing them in late that screws me over. Late marks suck :( Also, lateness just makes essays so much harder to finish as you become filled with worry which just inhibits your ability to write clearly and creatively.

Anywho, now I am going home to do work for an assignment due next week. My weekend is full of scholastic joy as I have to study for a geography test on Tuesday. I have lots to do!! The only real fun I'm going to have this weekend is attending Andrea Todd's birthday party tomorrow night. YAY! And maybe hanging out with Dave on Sunday night. I hope he brings our friend Steve Hay. He's so cool. This guy is ridiculously tall and gangly looking with bright red hair. He's one of the most hilarious (yes, hilarious with one L) and politically astute people I've ever met. I haven't seen him since third year of university when I used to plague him with discussions pertaining to Tim Fairgrieve. Ah Tim Fairgrieve, the mysteries of infatuation.

Diane Neal... she's lovely looking

A friend from class told me today that I look like the lawyer on Law and Order Special Victims Unit. She's told other people in my program and they all seem to agree that I look like this woman. I don't see it.


Actually, I think she looks more like Rachel Hahn. Especially in this picture.


Apparently, Rachel and I look alike. I don't mind looking like either of these women as I think they are pretty beautiful. Also, I have been thinking about dying my hair. I always used to get blond highlights, but Mena told me that brown hair would suit my features. Hmm... I'm not sure. If I end up looking anything like Diane Neal, I might really consider it.