Random stupidity

Recently I've had a string of days where I just say the stupidest things to people and then feel utter embarrassment after the fact. If they didn't know me, which usually ends up being the case, I wouldn't be surprised if they thought me rather daft. Sometimes as I am talking, my inner self (in a daily dialogue) realizes the stupidity of what's coming out of my mouth, but is powerless to stop. For example, the other day while working in the back kitchen I noticed one of the kitchen staff cutting up some meat (mmm... beef). I guess he saw my expression of delight and asked if I liked meat. I responded with a strong yes. I wanted to say something further about how I would eat it all the time, but for some reason some horrid remark about constipation came out. I don't know what I was trying to say but the result has been rather unfortunate. Dude hasn't talked to me since Wednesday night and some of the kitchen guys look at me like I have a foot growing out of my head.

This thoughtlessness seems to be happening mostly at work. I'll bring someone to their table and rather than tell them to enjoy their meal, I'll say goodnight and abruptly leave. Or when I have a wait list, instead of calling out the patron names, I'll call out staff names instead. I feel like I'm having a brain fart or something. What's even worse is that sometimes I don't even know what was said. Tonight I was attempting to bring someone from the bar to their table and the person who I was chatting with had the strangest reaction, almost as if I had said something terribly offensive. I felt like I had missed something so I actually asked her if there was a problem and her response was that I was "a weird little person"(what the?).

I've had this type of thing happen before. It only lasted a few days but it caused me some minor embarrassment, particularly in the dating/crushing department. When I was in second year (Rachel, you'll love this story) I had a humongous crush on a boy named Tim Fairgreive(sp?). If anyone from Vic reads this blog, he used to be the manager of the Cat's Eye. Anywho, I was madly in love with Tim and wanted to get his attention. So when I heard he was a member of the International Relations Society, I decided to join. I couldn't possibly attend a meeting alone so I brought along my trusty good guy friend, Steve Haye (crazy tall gangly guy with bright red curly hair). Again, for those from Vic, Steve was the editor-in-chief of the Strand.

As we sit through this boring meeting, Steve concocts a wonderful cunning plan that will allow me to talk to my love interest. As the meeting concludes, Steve would approach Tim and start up a conversation with him and then I would join them. After some brief moments of talking together Steve would then leave and chat with my nemesis, Reem (who also had a crush on Tim) so I could chat with my crush without interruption or distraction.

Everything was going well. In fact, the plan was unfolding perfectly. Steve and I were chatting away with Tim. Of course, he asked why I was attending the meeting as he had not seen me there before and I told him that IR was my major. To make a joke (and to show him how witty I really was (laugh, choke)) I said the real reason I had attended the meeting was because my "hot and handsome" friend, Steve, was attending. To make my joke so much the better, I decided to say, "Oh Steve, you're so dreamy!" Here comes the brain fart. Rather than say Steve, I said Tim and when I realized what I had said, I actually stopped mid-sentence. So, what came out in full was, "Oh Tim". Of course, Steve told all my friends, who for the remainder of the year would yell out in a whimsical manner, "Oh Tim!" whenever I was around.

Anyways, the point of all this nonsense is that I have to get control of my impulsive nature. I've always been rather impetuous. So much so that when I decide to be wise and make a decision, I'll always end up doing the exact opposite in a rash manner (i.e. summer 2006). Maybe I'm setting myself up? Whatever it is, at present, it seems to have caused some minor humiliation and good entertainment for my friends and co-workers. Let's hope it passes soon.